Sunday, February 10, 2013

The Quest: A Review

Hello and welcome to my review of The Quest. Now, this is a Jean-Claude Van Damme film so you probably don't expect me to be talking much about a story, just about how flashy the fighting was. Well, you're wrong. This movie, unlike other fighting movies, had boring half hours of just talking segments dispersed throughout the movie. Well, o.k. maybe he wasn't going purely for an action flick and wanted to drive the film with a story. Well he failed in that sense too. So, this movie is an action movie, with not enough action, and a bad plot. The only saving grace is watching stereotypical fighters from countries like, "Siam", China, Japan, Turkey, Mongolia, Germany, Brazil, Ireland and Africa, oh, you say Africa is not a country, well to JCVD it is. The basic plot is this guy, whose name, personality, favorite color, romance or any distinguishing features are unimportant (played by JCVD) is chosen to fight in this sacred Tibetan fighting tournament where other fighters from around the world fight him. While he is fighting, a sailor guy (Roger Moore) steals the prize: a golden dragon statue.

So over all, this is a fighting movie, lacking fighting and a half decent story, with geographical inaccuracies and other things that make this one that should be watched with a campy mindset. 5/10 or if you breathe off of triple aerial spin kicks (JCVD fan) 9/10

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Team America: World Police: A Review

Hello there, welcome to my review of Team America: World Police. From the creators of South Park - Trey Parker and Matt Stone is this film centering on this gun rearing, reckless, ultra patriotic anti terrorist organization. Team America must save the world from Kim-Jong-Il's evil plan to use WMD's to blow up major areas in the world. The Team must recruit broadway actor Gary Johnston to help with insuring that Kim-Jong-Il doesn't succeed. This movie has many songs parodying action movies and patriotism. This movie is altogether like South Park mixed with Thunderbirds. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!