Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: A Review

Hello there, welcome to my review of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. This movie is awful. I've seen other reviews forgiving this movie for its wrongs. Nope, this movie was just plain bad. Hollywood nowadays, I feel, just has a notepad filled with stupid, overused cliches. This movie used 'em all. From cliched characters, to slapstick comedy, to stupid oneliners, to a overused speech about heros and crap, to a corny villain that didn't even appear in the book. It is okay to stray from the book a little, but not to fill the holes with overused shit. The story itself was pretty true to the book, about the band of dwarves on a quest to take back there riches. Now, they didn't have much to work with, but this would have been a fine kids movie. If you made it one movie, not 3 hours long, taken out the awful comedy it would have been a good kids movie. But no, not serious enough, let's add something that wasn't in the book for comic relief. Radagast the Brown played a small role in the first LOTR book, he was never in the hobbit. I am just angered by this monstrosity. It itself wasn't that bad, but to take a crap on something I enjoy (the LOTR books and movies) is just awful. You have FAILED Peter Jackson. You have officially made The Phantom Menace of Middle Earth. 2/10!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

50 First Dates: A (Bad) Review

Hello there, welcome to my review of 50 First Dates. Now, you might be thinking, why are you watching awful Adam Sandler movies, well the answer is they're funny. Not in the way they're supposed to be though. They are funnily bad. I have watched a bunch of these movies and will be writing bad reviews of them. So, the story is - the Adam Sandler character   meets this girl at a cafe. She has some form of Amnesia that makes her relive the same day every day for the past year. Adam Sandler really likes her( by the way she's played by Drew Barrymore) but she can't recognize him each day. He then makes her a tape so she can remember all the stuff she missed et cetera. Anyway, my main problem, besides the story and everything else about this movie is that the Dad of the girl, remakes the day everyday. What I mean is he tries to make it seem like the same day everyday. This would take a lot of money and be impossible to do everyday and why don't they just break the news to her?
It is just as cliched as you'd expect from Sandler and the only somewhat good thing is that the actor who was Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings movies is in this. Or is that bad? Now for the verdict. 10 is the worst and 1 is the best. This movie scores 7.4 on the badness scale. I'm sure there are worse things, but this one is pretty bad.

-Plot Holes
+Guy who played Sam
-Hawaiian Stereotypes

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Just Cause 2: A Review

Hello there, welcome to my review of Just Cause 2. The first thing I have to say about this game is - big. What I mean by that is everything in this game is big. The game is pretty long: it took me 32 hours and the explosions, world and scale of it is just huge. The island nation that you destroy is about 30 kilometers long, real kilometers. Anyway, this game isn't very story-driven or deep, but I don't think it needs to be. I think that if you go into any hollywood action movie hoping for a story driven experience, than you'll be disappointed. But, if you go into it hoping for a fun, explosion filled experience, than you'll come out of it thinking "well that was fun." This game is no different. The story is about agent Rico Rodriguez going to the fictional island nation of Panau in Southeast Asia and overthrowing the evil dictator- Pandak "Baby" Panay, a ruler bent on sending nukes flying at different countries around the world. Yeah, it sounds pretty outrageous, but it's fun.
The game's main mechanic is the grappling hook and parachute combo. You'll find yourself swinging about Panau and jumping out of planes and helicopters. This game is also chalk full of explosions. In places where there shouldn't be an explosion, there is. This isn't necessarily negative because it looks really cool.
One of my major negatives though is the combat. It gets kind of boring after a few minutes and some of the missions drag it on a bit too long. Many of the missions are quite similar and the "stronghold takeover" missions are quite boring. Shoot through guys, open gate, kill machine gunner, defend technician, repeat. It's all worth it though for when you get to the really awesome missions like shooting a satellite mid launch, jumping from nuclear missile to missile while rerouting each one and destroying an oil rig with a fighter jet. I give this game over all an 8/10.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Room: A Review

Hello there, and I know what you're probably thinking- it's another review of the room, we've heard it a million times! Well, wait. First there's the obvious stuff, overuse of stock footage, plot holes, awful acting, bad camerawork, stuff that just doesn't make sense, and the fact the the many sex scenes in the movie are just different combinations of the same footage. I have a theory (remember just a theory) that maybe he planned it to be bad. All the actors and actresses are supposed to be bad and the joke's on us! Maybe, maybe not. I just think that no human could be stupid enough to actually make this movie without it being some kind of hoax.

Leave a comment. Do you think Wiseau is a Genius and has fooled us all, or is and idiot?

"This is a great party.You invited all my friends, good thinking!"